Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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