I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
