yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
