You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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