Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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