Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
