I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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