I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
