Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
