just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
