Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
