What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
