i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
