Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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