yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
