My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
