dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
