She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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