Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
