I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
