There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
