too bad you live with your parents still
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
