ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
