HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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