Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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