have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
