Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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