even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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