I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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