seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize