East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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