Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

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  (310): Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire http://tfl.nu/u3d6
  Replies (6) Good night (977) Bad night (1760)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  batman just walked across the sidewalk

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  lay off the drugs

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no for real he was wearing a cape

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  (630): batman just walked across the sidewalk (1-630): lay off the drugs (630): no for real he was wearing a cape http://tfl.nu/eo01
  Replies (15) Good night (5030) Bad night (669)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."

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  (516): So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming." http://tfl.nu/t69x
  Replies (17) Good night (3133) Bad night (623)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi

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  (412): just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi http://tfl.nu/nlgm
  Replies (4) Good night (731) Bad night (2232)
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  (213): View more from California

  The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.

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  (213): The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out. http://tfl.nu/jmae
  Replies (4) Good night (2288) Bad night (811)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

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  (207): You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's. http://tfl.nu/19cl
  Replies (6) Good night (2066) Bad night (680)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?

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  (816): We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right? http://tfl.nu/k62y
  Replies (3) Good night (1882) Bad night (679)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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  (570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/3oup
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (364)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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  (813): Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line. http://tfl.nu/x7j1
  Replies (5) Good night (853) Bad night (334)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.

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  (262): Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God. http://tfl.nu/qyus
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (300)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.

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  (908): i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real. http://tfl.nu/55e2
  Replies (0) Good night (589) Bad night (435)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.

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  (770): He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped. http://tfl.nu/bmak
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (383)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.

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  (519): I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/0spo
  Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (178)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS

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  (904): WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS http://tfl.nu/o3r8
  Replies (5) Good night (350) Bad night (166)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going

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  (203): I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going http://tfl.nu/1nul
  Replies (2) Good night (190) Bad night (344)

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