You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
