You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you would pick up someone in the library
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
