the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
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She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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