Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I need to calm my uterus...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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