Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
