Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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