if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just had sex on a roof
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
