i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
