operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
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Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
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Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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