Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
