We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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