Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
