phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
