if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
not ubering you a puppy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
