Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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