He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he just fucked me for my cheese.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
