it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
