thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
