My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
