I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
