I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I could fuck to npr.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize