Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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