Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
