I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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