I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
