Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
