Already got asked if we're dating
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Randomize
