I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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