Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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