Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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