How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize