I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
