I must be too annoying 4 u.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
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Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
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He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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