The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
